PSYCHOTHERAPY


Meditations on the
therapeutic process

Will Parfitt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Psychosynthesis brings together the two traditions of psychology and mysticism. Psychology is then infused with a sense of soul and meaning, whilst the mystery traditions benefit from the grounding and reflective qualities of psychology.

Psychosynthesis is a practical system which is not about the application of techniques, but learning to live with a vision that comes from deep within oneself.


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Meditations on the therapeutic process

None, One, Many, One, None

One may be experienced as separate - only myself, I am alone - or as with others - we have become one. One is not Unity, it is Unity Plus. Unity just is, one becomes ... what does one become? When the client starts in therapy she believes there is a goal - a problem to be solved, a lack of understanding to be remedied. The therapist uncovers within the client the deeper truth that the problem or lack - in whatever form it manifests - is in itself the solution. Not when it is integrated, not when it is made whole, not when it is synthesized - simply in itself. In its own becoming - the symptom uncovers. The therapist is the symptom, the mother, the father, the sibling, the lover, the other. A pathological confluence to be lived with and seen as part of the self as one. The self as one cannot be divided from its other.

In the Hebrew language, every letter has a numerical value. The word for One, Achd, has the same numerical value as the word for Love, Ahbh. ëLove thyself as thine own brother, sister,í said the preacher. The number concerned is 13 - not 1. Achd and Ahbh both equal 13. They are not some artificial unity, but are the twelve divisions, the twelve signs and houses, plus. A bakers dozen is just right for the therapist and client relationship. All the houses, all the signs, plus.

I am all of this and I am more.

Realizing the self as one is a necessary component in the I-Thou relationship. A principle of psychosynthesis is that the two individuals have to be whole in themselves before a synthesis can take place. This is true of wholes. But what is whole?

I-Thou? ëWhat about you and me!í he shouted.

To be whole is not to be perfect, to be synthesized out of existence into some artificial realm of unity. To be whole is to be one and another.

ëLove one and anotherí said the Lord.

If there is perfection it is in including all of oneself - the dark parts and the light, the knowing and the unknowing. Contemplate the cloud of unknowing to know. The therapist, the client and the therapist and client together can only do this by allowing, through not pushing, through being with the becoming. ëNot my will but Thine be doneí. Recognizing and acknowledging - and most importantly, knowing - the spirit in the other, however it is interpreted, is knowing the self as one. Mystics talk of ëthe bliss of the one to the many, the bliss of the many to the one.í The one issue brought by the client that he is expecting to get fixed - however it is disguised - is soon found to be a multitude of issues. We dive together into the morass of unconsciousness, picking the strawberry from the cliff edge as we go. These multitudinous issues are then brought to one solution, the return to the one self. Now divided for the sake of love rather than for the sake of pain, for the pain is loved. This is I-Thou in action, becoming I-Thou.

Whilst Mystics prefer the path from the many to the one, magicians are always working to bring the one to the many. ëBe I-Thou both mystic and magicianí said the mystical magician and the magical mystic, in unison (and it echoed). No more divine sidestepping, blissing out, no more pragmatically justified abuse of self or other, to more evil twin to be destroyed. We are all born twins, and in the shadow of other is our redemption. The first basic perinatal matrix is an empty womb (and unlike the grave, where none embrace, many here I think do embrace). The paradox. There is always more.

I am this and I am more than this.

The problem is not in forgetting this, but in getting caught up in that. By the time we are experiencing basic perinatal matrix number two we are two! Divided and forgotten why (ëfor the sake of loveí). The therapist has to be all these others, from this first to the last, for the first shall be the last and the last shall be the first, and never the twain shall meet, for thine is the kingdom, and ... there is always more. And within this more, the therapist becomes a beacon of continuity, to be transferred back - again and again until the client knows other as well as she knows herself. Not this other of the therapist, but this other of self, within which only then is self ever becoming one.



Presence.

Presence is everything. Without it, the therapist is nowhere, and, as with everyone, the therapist spends a lot of time in that nowhere place. Sometimes during a session the therapist joins the client who is already floundering in a place without presence. If the therapist is similarly disendowed, they meet in a place of equality, albeit a nowhere place. The therapist then is able to move to a place of presence and escort the client in that direction. The therapist, when entering the place without presence - the nightmare zone of Fritz Perls, the lower unconscious of Roberto Assagioli - has done so with choice. Willing, for the sake of love, to enter the nightmare zone and do the job required. To let go, be there - and create presence. The paradox.

Behind that presence is more presence. The source of the awareness is a presence itself. Kabbalists call it ënothing: nothing is: nothing becomesí. Zen Buddhists ask: who were you before you were born? Where is the gateless gate? Egyptians depicted it as the goddess Nuit - a beautiful naked woman arched over the earth like the canopy of the night sky. A depiction of the source from whence everything springs - including all these words, all this awareness.

The first thing to emerge from this ënothing that somehow becomes somethingí is something that exists. Presence. ëFrom where did that feeling arise?í ëWhat was the source of that thought?í The therapist asks the client these questions, not aiming for a particular target, the ëcauseí of the thought or the feeling. The therapist is creating a space in which the presence of the thought or feeling may be experienced. Then the arrow is released: ëWhat are you experiencing now?í

In presence there is nothing but presence. The therapistís aim is to create a setting in which relationship with presence is experienced. To experience the source of the presence ëis a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace.í

The I-Thou relationship requires presence in which to exist.

Whilst presence is in the field, it is the source of the field and everything within it.

The source begets itself at each new moment.

The therapist cannot learn to embody presence. The therapist embodies presence through learning to be herself. And himself: both the female and male aspects of presence nurtured within the same psyche. There is something within this inner I-Thou relationship, between alchemical sister and brother, between Isis, the Goddess, and Osiris, the God. The chance to experience the flowering of consciousness, the emergence of awareness, the convergence of joys. Yes, for a brief moment somewhere, this exists. Do not deny it: it also exists at all time, for without it there is no existence.

The therapist does not have to look at the notes from seminars, or remember the rules of accreditation. The therapist just has to be. Not in role. Not as other, in any sense. But as Self.

The therapist has to trust.



Trust

ëTrust the process.í ëTrust in yourself.í The therapist learns to trust in the process and in herself. As simple and as complex as that. Trust is a bridge between people - and the work of therapy is building bridges. Cement deteriorates - what is needed is the bridge hewn out of stone blocks that support each other. No glue, no cement, just presence resting with presence. Finding the keystone and how to place it, otherwise the bridge wonít stand.

What to do with the bridge of trust? Built, the client may defend it. Built narrow and it is easy - too easy - to defend. Built too wide and it is easy - too easy - to cross. The client may open it to all comers, with no sense of boundaries. The bridge in the therapeutic encounter is ephemeral and solid, narrow and wide. The paradox.

The bridge links one to other. Me to you. A link that restores faith in the possibility of contact without abuse or denial. The bridge of tru(st) built on the keystone of tru(th). Replacing the old bridge of lies.

The client has to trust in the therapy and the therapist. In the therapy: that it works, as a general principle, and that it will work for him. In the therapist: that this other is skilled, will hold confidentiality, creating thereby a safe space in which to touch and be touched. More than all this, trust in the therapist as a real person. To find that real person she will have to work through the seeing the other as mother / father/ sibling/ friend/ enemy/ lover.

Therapist: I am my role and I am more than this. I am a real person.

There is a failure of trust that is negative. The therapist breaks the confidentiality, for instance. Is an unskilled fraud. Most importantly, is not real.

The trust also needs to be broken, to be clearly perceived to fail. The failure of trust with a positive connotation. The client thought/felt he could trust mother - and was snatched from off that bridge just before it crumbled (if lucky). Could trust father - until the time came to perceive the illusion. Could trust brother/sister until sister/brother taught her otherwise. Could trust friend - until the great betrayal. Could trust enemy until the capitulation and disarmament that ensued. Could trust lover until the presence of other shattered that illusion. This new mother / father/ sibling/ friend/ enemy/ lover is trusted not for being mother / father/ sibling/ friend/ enemy/ lover but for being himself, with the capacity to break trust.

Then the movement: then the bridge building. There is no one to trust but herself. As a positive statement.

As a positive statement, this is the real tru(st)/tru(th).




Will Parfitt is a UKCP registered psychotherapist and an experienced and innovative group leader. Trained in Psychosynthesis, he has more than thirty years experience of working with psychospiritual development, and he travels internationally to run courses on a variety of subjects including kabbalah and psychosynthesis. Will is author of several books including 'Kabbalah for Life' and 'Psychosynthesis: the Elements and Beyond'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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© Will Parfitt 2008 (v8.1)